Not today.

It's Friday the 13th.

I vowed for NO Friday the 13th babies, and I'm doing everything short of hog tying my legs together and hanging upside down from the ceiling to do just that.

I had my 33 week checkup yesterday!  Pretty much the same update as the past couple of weeks.  The good news - BOTH babies are now head down!  Woop woop!  The first baby has always been so, but the 2nd baby was between transverse and breech up until now.  We're in the best setup to avoid a c-section, which makes me happy. The doctor was "pleased as punch" that I have made it this far.  I've had a lot working against me. Average for twins is between 34 and 36 weeks, so we're not far off. I'm praying for 1 more week and would be thrilled with 2 or 3 more weeks. I've learned that it's out of my control, and I know that whatever plan God has for their arrival, is the perfect one. It just bothers me to realistically accept that NICU time will probably be involved, and the likelihood that I will leave the hospital with no babies in hand makes me super sad.

But, there are much worse situations and I'm thankful for what I feel has been borrowed time since week 28 when this all started.

However, I am SICK of laying on the couch.  I want my life back.  I want to be able to move without pain.  I want to be able to get off the couch to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night without my husband to pull me first into sitting position, then to standing position.  I'd like to do this without occasional tears.  I want to be sitting back at work, or at clinical, or at class...anywhere but here.  I want to carry my Emersyn and go to her dance classes and participate in her Mommy & Me performance at her first dance recital next weekend.  I want to be able to give her a bath and lay with her at bedtime - in her bed, not on "my" couch.  I want to be able to polish my toenails and shave my legs.  I want to stand without feeling like I am going to drop a baby out.

A whole lot of complaining for what I know will be worth every minute, every stretch mark, and every tear.

I get reminded constantly through strong punches and kicks that soon, I will be holding my babies and will have forgotten about these very long, grueling days.  This is hands-down the hardest thing I have done either physically or emotionally in my life, and may possibly hold that title forever.  It makes my single pregnancy look like a walk in the park.  I am mad at myself for complaining about that during the last weeks - it was a breeze and I know that now!

It's funny how life has so many ways to teach a person something new.
Sorry for the crabby pants post, but it's how I feel this Friday the 13th..  Lots to be thankful for.  Lots that is bringing me down though.

But---here's to FRIDAY, my favorite day of the week!