Not a Mini-Van Mom

I have found that there are 2 very popular questions in response to someone finding out I am pregnant with twinkies.

After the initial "CONGRATS!" and "OHH! We are SOOO excited for you!" and generalized freaking out, there is always this:

1. "Do twins run in your family?"

and

2. "Oh! Is it time for a minivan yet?"

I usually spare people the entire story of my infertility (see this post for the down diggity on that) and simply answer "yes" to question #1. It is the perfect truth, afterall.

For question #2, I answer an unwavering, very clear "NO".

I will not drive a minivan. Not with 1 kid, not with 3 kids, not with 5 kids.

Oh, I know. I have heard it all before...."they are wonderful! Once you try a minivan you will wonder how you lived without it" and "with 3 kids I bet you will change your mind".

No. I will not change my mind. Not now. Not ever. Not with 1 kid, not with 3 kids, not with 5 kids.

I do believe that people love their minivans. I do believe that people with kids wonder how they got along without Beloved Minivan. I am happy for those people and glad that they found peace with their minivans. To each their own.

I simply will not be a mom who will ever understand that pleasure.

Maybe it stems from childhood. I grew up in a minivan. (Well not in one literally, but you get my jist). First there was Greenie, the Dodge Caravan...that was green, of course. I remember our 2nd minivan, a blue beauty, also a Caravan, very clearly. I remember the day we retired Greenie and traded it in for the new and improved blue model. Something along the lines of this prize right here:

Maybe it stems from my road rage. It is always so much easier to be mad at someone driving a minivan. Why is that, anyways? Maybe Rochester is the melting pot of crappy drivers. Wait--I know it is. You get drivers of all types. The fast-paced idiots and the ones who move at the speed of turtle. The morons who cut you off and weave in and out of traffic. The ones who shouldn't of passed their American drivers test to begin with. The ones whose windows are apparently tinted from the inside as well and can't see a thing. The ones who move from the the desert and suddenly find themselves driving in .... snow. (Or, more realistically....sitting in the ditch as they watch the snow fall around them).

There is a reason I live in a town of 5,000. There is a reason that the biggest surrounding area I would ever consider caps out at 100,000.

The reason is....I have road rage. It's probably because I grew up living in the middle of nowhere-land. I didn't have to worry about someone driving out from the back hills to cut me off on the gravel road. I could drive how I wanted. It was rare to even see a vehicle out on the gravel nowhere-land, yet alone be cut off by a minivan. Sadly, the rules of the road change once you move out of nowhere-land.

I have learned that:

I always seem to be cut off, slowed down, or pulled out in front of by......

A Minivan.
Whether it be brand-spankin' new, or a rust bucket.
A Minivan, nonetheless.

Or, maybe I look for a minivan in sight to somehow blame for the traffic issues. I can't help it. It's innate.

Hence, I will never drive a minivan. Not with 1 kid, not with 3 kids, not with 5 kids.

While our beloved TrailBlazer will soon no longer cut the bill, and we will definitely be looking for an upgrade soon...

I will not own a minivan.

(Plus--my hubby is 6'4". I am pretty certain he would look rather hilarious climbing out of a minivan. There. That's my excuse!)