How to Fail at Dieting

Here are a few tips from a pro:

1. Neglect going to the gym in favor of "sleeping in". (Because, you know, that extra 30 minutes would make or break me).

2. Decide prior to going to work that if someone brings goodies, you would hold your will and pass.

3. Once you get to work, your very sweet coworker shows up with not 1---but 2 different kinds of homemade goodness. (You won this time, chocolate chip cookie!! But not the next!)

4. Uh-oh!! Mother-in-law is in town and happens to make phenomenal Halloween sugar cookies. About 20 of them sit on your counter. Remember to say NO to morning cookies. Pat yourself on the back for this accomplishment.

5. You decide that being a good mom and a good dieter, you take the cookies to your child's daycare and pass them off as your own weekend creation. Pat yourself on the back again, as half of the cookies are now out of the house.

6. Accidentally eat another chocolate chip cookie during your slow afternoon at work. Hey, that salad over lunch hour made it seem reasonable...

7. Get home from work and deem yourself entirely too exhausted to survive a date with the treadmill. The other half of mother-in-laws homemade sugar cookies stare you back in the face. Good thing this particular pumpkin cookie looks like he is frowning at me...
8. Tell your 2-year old that there will be no cookies before dinner.

9. Then secretly eat one yourself while she is not looking. You know, since she had one earlier at daycare, and eating more than 1 cookie daily is not healthy.

10. By the end of the day, you will have had 4 cookies.

THIS IS WHAT I CALL EPIC FAIL.