The birth of our twins (Part II)

I know I said I'd be a better blogger now that we're home from the hospital.

I really didn't mean for that to be a lie - but I guess it was!

What can I say about our life the past  2 weeks?  It has been AMAZING!!  I absolutely am in love with my family of 5.  Having not only 1...but 2!...newborns at home has been wonderful.

They are SUCH good babies.  I can honestly say that being a first-time mom was 10x more stressful than being a second time mom, even a second time mom to twins.

Travis went back to work just 2 days after we brought the twins home.  Despite several offers of in-home help, what can I say...I don't want in-home help.  I need to learn to do this on my own.  I know people have good intentions of making my life easier, but the reality is that the in-home help eventually must leave, and I didn't want to find myself in a situation a few weeks into the boys life wondering how I can manage once the in-home help was gone.

So it's been just the babies and I flying solo for over a week already.  I've been out with them on several occasions, alone, to doctor's appointments (for either them OR me.  Long story).

Some people think I'm crazy for not accepting the help, but I seriously don't think it's been a big deal and I wonder WHAT I would have people help with if they were here anyways.  The babies sleep all day long.  Nearly alllll day long.  I nurse them every 2-3 hours.  And such is our life right now!

I have managed to shower every single day that we've been home!!  I didn't even get near this many showers when I was home with Emersyn on maternity leave!

Anyways.  I'm here for Part II of the twins' birth story.  In case you missed part I - check it out here.

So, the babies arrived and once we were all healthy, we went back to the room (vs. the OR where I delivered) to recover for a bit.  The boys are rockstars!  They were put on my chest and immediately knew where to go and what to do as far as getting in on the food source!  It is so amazing to me that such a tiny little life can navigate their way around their momma. They both were  nursing well right out of the gate and impressing everyone who came in to check on them.

Maddox on the left - (he had a bruised cheek from the crazy fast birth!) and Kellan on the right (he had 3 bruised fingers from his arm behind his neck and his breech birth!)

We were moved to the postpartum unit shortly after.  Since the boys were born premature (before 37 weeks), the hospital policy is that they stay in the Special Care Nursery/Level II Nursery for observation until leaving the hospital.  This made me sad.  There's a crazy number of twins right now apparently, and all the twin room were full.  So Maddox and Kellan each had their own room in the special care nursery but were next door to eachother at least.  This made it a little bit easier to go back/forth between the two rooms - but it was still a pain in the butt and I would have way rather had them in the same room!

They each had their own room like this (Maddox's room)

We stayed with the boys until they were fully admitted to the nursery.  By this time it was close to 5:00 AM.  Travis and I were exhausted and went back to my room for some "sleep"...even though it was hard to leave them.  The staff woke me up when it was time for the babies to feed.  I finally fell asleep and then was woken up by on of the OB doctors doing rounds.  I felt like I'd slept for days...but it was only one hour!

Maddox and Kellan were doing so completely awesome in the Special Care Nursery!  The neonatologist thought that they may go home just 48 hours later.  Everyone was extremely impressed that they were taking only breastfeedings, not getting tired out from it, and pooping/peeing.

But then...

Their urine output started to crump.  This bought us an extra day in the hospital, with discharge expected Thursday vs. Wednesday.  I was okay with that and actually welcomed the extra time...the boys had circumcisions, hearing tests, blood tests, and a whole lot of poking and prodding and I wanted to give them some extra time to rest before changing up their environment once again.

Because of the low urine output, I had to make the choice whether to 1) top them off with bottle feedings, 2) top off with breastmilk tube feedings (from their nose to stomach), or 3) IV fluids.

I was so sad.  I felt like there was sooo much information thrown at me in such a short time...from neonatologists, dieticians, specialists, nurses, nurse practitioners, lactation consultants - everyone.  And our boys were "healthy", only experiencing "typical late preterm infant feeding patterns".  I tried so hard to make sure they were being fed well, but my milk likely hadn't quite come in all the way.  Talk about feeling like a failure.

Guess what I did?  I cried.  Imagine that!!?!

6/8/11 - Together again!  First time since birth.  The nurse snuck this pic while I was in pure mommahood bliss!

 Thursday night, the neonatology nurse practitioner talked to me and told me I had to make a decision soon.  (Keep in mind, Travis was pretty much at work during most of this time.  I was alone the vast majority of each day, and every night. I hadn't left the hospital all  week despite being discharged myself - I just walked down the hallway and camped out with the boys for the rest of the week).  I called Travis at home and vented my frustration.

I decided to have them tube fed.  I guess I didn't see the point of bottle feeding an infant who wasn't showing interest in feeding on their own...why have them waste the energy on it?  Even though NG tube insertion wasn't thrilling to me, I knew it would be best for the boys.

My poor Maddox :(

And my wittle peanut Kellan

I cried.  Again.  Actually, I broke down to the nurse as I was sitting in the corner of the dark room watching her poke and prod my baby.  I told her I was extremely overwhelmed and felt like an enormous failure...I was going off zero sleep in several days, pregnancy hormones, and doing it alone.  I missed Emersyn.  I missed being at home.  I missed feeling like a good mommy.

Boy.  That poor nurse.  Bless her heart - she had all the right words and actions for this blubbering idiot!

The NG tubes were placed on each baby.  I did pretty well with this part...surprised myself a little.

And then.....(dun dun dunnnnnnnnn).  The bilirubin check and the lab tech that I secretly wanted to pinch.

I pulled myself together just before they came by late that night to draw blood on both babies.  (They do this by a heel stick...which seems pretty harmless...but take a teeny tiny foot...getting enough blood for the test apparently isn't always easy).  The lab tech had to poke Maddox not once, but two times to get enough blood.  He was crying frantically. And she was squeezing his foot frantically.  And I was being crabby in the corner of the room to the lab tech.  Trying very hard to not be that mom.  Kellan also had a terrible time with the heel stick.  I wanted to crawl in a hole. And heel stick the lab tech.

A couple hours later, roughly 2 AM, our nurse came in and said that both babies had high bilirubin levels, and Maddox's level was high enough to require sitting under the bili lights.  This would buy us another 24-48 hours in the hospital.  Discharge went from Wednesday to Thursday and now from Thursday to Friday at best.  Kellan's level was high but not high enough to require the bili lights.  

Maddox.  Poor little bubba - HATED this mask.

This is where the obnoxious mother comes into play.  I asked if Kellan could please be treated despite not being that high...because I knew that once Maddox's levels were corrected, Kellan's probably would be too high and we would buy ourselves another day or 2 in the hospital.

Kellan

So after all of this, guess what I did?  I cried.  A long pregnancy, a crazy birth, a hormonal momma, 2 babies who hated the hospital life, lack of sleep, and just really wanting to be home together as a family will do that to a person.  I called Travis at 2 AM and cried.  I even cried about the boys circumcisions - they looked horrible.  Truly painful.  I felt guilty as a parent for inflicting that pain on top of everything else going on. (Side note:  the circs now look really good.  Just never look at it the day after.  Ouch).

The next morning, I convinced Travis to take the day off and spend in the hospital with us.  I needed another set of ears.  The neonatologist, who is really really fabulous, wanted to talk to us.  He basically told us that even though a Friday discharge would be nice, it wasn't in the best interest of the babies to leave.  They needed another day under the lights and to be sure we were over that hump.  So discharge went from Wednesday to Thursday, from Thursday to Friday, and now Friday to Saturday.

But I was okay with it this time. Between our feeding schedule (every 3 hours, one baby at a time, followed by pumping session) I was allowed about 1 to 1.5 hours of down time off and on throughout the days.  Since Travis was up on Friday, I actually left the unit!  We went to Subway for breakfast and later to Dairy Queen (both just downstairs from us) for ice cream.  Hey, chocolate can cure almost anything!  Friday was a good day...and best yet, the boys resumed making nice wet and/or poopy diapers, and their bilirubin levels dropped from 11 and 15 to 8!  Emersyn came up each night with Travis, but I was very very ready to be home with her once again and be her mommy full time too!

Saturday was our discharge date and we couldn't have been happier!  Mayo is a small world - turns out we had the same discharge nurse with Maddox and Kellan that we did over 3 years ago with Emersyn!  She remembered us and we remembered her.  We also found out she is a fellow North Dakotan so we had fun with that.  Thanks, Julie, for all your help on the morning of our hospital discharge!

Proud big sis ready to bring her "brudders" home!  (She was so excited to give them the panda and lion toys she picked out!)

The staff up at the Special Care Nursery was truly wonderful.  Very helpful, understanding, and compassionate.  And best of all, they didn't tell me to shut the hell up during my meltdown sessions.  I may or may not have had it coming??!!

Discussing the escape plans :)

All 3 kids' discharge RN, Julie!

So proud!

Yes.  Let the minivan moments begin!

So since that morning we left the hospital, we have been adjusting to home life.  As I said above - not too bad.  Not bad at all.  I was expecting/prepared for worse.  The babies are wonderful.  They have brought me so much joy already!  I can't imagine my life without any of my 3 children.  I stare at the twins and wonder how in the world they fit inside me?  How we were so lucky to have them...when, there was a time I was thinking Emersyn would be an only child.  I wonder what they will be when they grow up (hair models, of course!)- how they will get along - and if they will keep on looking so much alike.  Really.  They have changed a lot in their first 2 weeks and are looking more and more alike each day.

First day at home!

Good thing I have 20 baby toes to love on!  Can't get enough!

 

 

The view from here!

So, folks.  That's what has been keeping me from blogging as frequently as I'd like!  I actually do have a lot of down time during the day - but usually choose to spend it holding babies :)