Don't Blink

I'm finding myself struggling to keep this up the past couple of weeks. Always somewhere to be, something to do, someone to please. Eeek!

Life is going great, though, really! I'm sick of winter...I think we all are. The dang groundhog saw his shadow 2 weeks ago, so that leaves us with 4 weeks of winter left. That seems far-fetched---since when has winter ever ended in mid-March? HA! Rochester has had a LOT of snow this season. In fact, I just heard on the news that total snowfall this season is 52 inches. Obviously that is not what has accumulated, but what has fallen and has set records. Anyways, let's hope that the groundhog was right and winter will be over in 4 more weeks. I won't make any bets when we are in VEGAS later this week on it, however!

I don't think I told you all about the somewhat spontaneous Vegas trip this weekend! I'm super excited! Also, super nervous. I have never in my life had any hesitancy in flying. EVER. Until now! I flew across the country last fall with Emersyn, alone. Didn't think a thing of it. Flying across the country now with Travis, and freaked beyond all belief suddenly! Something about the concept of being there, and Emersyn being here, is really bugging me. She is staying with our dear friends Heather and Scott. They used to be our neighbors when we lived in the townhomes in Pine Island. They are an amazing couple and I am so thankful to have them in our life. Emersyn loves them and they love her right back! I feel very secure with her under their care. That is definitely not the problem...it's my whole what if she needs me and I can't be there thing that is getting to me.

You see, in my eyes, Emersyn will always need her mommy. Isn't that how this is supposed to work? Heck, I'm pushing 30 years old and I still want and need my mommy! My baby girl is growing up way too fast. I feel like I stop to blink, turn around, and she has learned something new. It's amazing and bittersweet all at the same time!

Emersyn is talking up a storm now! We really have to watch what we are saying. Here is a somewhat disturbing, yet too funny NOT to share moment. Yesterday, there may or may not have been a "passing of wind" in our house by one of it's members, human or otherwise. Emersyn looks up and says "Wass (what's) that? Poop?" OH HONEY!! She is a riot! She imitates everything, hears everything, sees everything. She is proving that she is just brilliant, but keeps it all to herself until she has it perfected. Let me elaborate.

Most of you are aware that Emersyn was a late bloomer in many regards. Last year at this time, she was going through workups at the clinic to be sure she didn't have any underlying condition responsible for some of her motor delays. She was in physical therapy at age 9 months to work on rolling, in fact. At her 9 month well-child checkup, I could count on one hand how many times she had rolled over. She was sitting up okay, but not great. So, off she went to physical therapy to work on upper body strength. I remember a conversation with her therapist that has proven to be right on the money. I asked the therapist her opinion on children who have early motor delays, and in her professional experience, did these children often prove to have delays in other areas later in life? Would she be more prone to a learning disability? Would her delays plague her forever?

I remember seeing in Emersyn's chart the diagnosis of "Developmental Delay". I went home and bawled my eyes out. I was hurt and insulted... how in the world could anyone diagnose my perfect, beautiful child as "developmentally delayed?" I really did struggle with it. I worried myself sick while we were waiting to have her seen by the Physical Medicine specialist, wondering what they might find.

After about a day of worrying, I realized I was being over-emotional about the whole thing. Because really, who would have to know that she was labeled as "developmentally delayed" unless we told them? I realized it was the stigma associated with that "label" that I disliked more than anything. This society is harsh and when you hear that diagnosis, you do not think of a happy, smiling, and very healthy appearing baby girl. Or at least I didn't.

Back to the conversation with Emersyn's therapist, she told me that often times the children who start out late prove to be the ones who hold off on revealing what they know until they have it perfected. She predicted that Emersyn would skip the wobbly walking phase and go straight to solid walking. Then she would be running shortly after. Emersyn's specialist gave her until age 18 months to walk. If any later than that, she was going to be seen once or twice weekly to get caught up. I was supposed to take her in for therapy twice monthly prior to 18 months to get caught up on rolling, crawling, and eventually walking.

Well, I followed that recommendation for about a month, and then decided that was enough. My baby was perfect and she would crawl when she was ready. She would walk when she was ready. I realized I needed to quit comparing her, and let her make her own decisions as to when this would happen. I butted out and let her be a kid---after all, everyone told me to enjoy these walk-free days because once they start, they don't stop! I was trying to speed up everything she did, for the sake of her "being on the charts".

At 17.5 months, Emersyn started walking. And within 5 days, she had it perfected. Just as the therapist predicted. She is now at and ahead of where she should be both physically and intellectually. She is a silent genius! One day about 2 weeks ago, I sat down with her and did her letters, like I had many times before. She shouted out 11 out of 26 letters, on the money, without a falter! Here I was thinking she didn't even know one of them! She now can pick out 16 of the letters each and every time. She recognizes them by both name and sight. For some of them, she can associate the phonetic sound with the letter. I can mix them up on the fridge and tell her which letter to bring to me---and she gets it. I go nuts and clap and praise her...and she looks at me like, "Really mom? Chill. I have known about that for awhile now!"

So, time is going way too fast. When I reflect back to a year ago and how I was crying over Emersyn's delays, I am now afraid to blink because she is growing up way too fast! This weekend will be her first sleepover. It will only be my second night away from her! Travis and I went up to Minneapolis one night last summer while mom and dad watched her here at our house. Otherwise, I have slept 7 steps away (literally, her room is attached on to our room) from her or less, each and every night of her life. I am probably going to do much worse without her than she does without us! In fact, I know I will! On the other hand, I am very excited to have a vacation with Travis. It has been 5 years, to the week, that we have had a fly-away vacation alone together. And that one was also to Vegas! How odd. We have been on trips since then, but either drove or else flew separately (when I flew out to Nashville 3 years ago to meet up with him during his work training). This is a much needed break for both of us, however.


Here is a picture of Emersyn and I last year at this time:



And a picture of us this year at the same time. Hmm, I think we have that pose down, what do you think?


My my my, how time flies. I just hope I don't blink when I'm in Vegas..or I may come home to my baby using full paragraphs! Have a wonderful week everyone!